To You

Dear you,


It's truly amazing how one conversation could change your mood.

An hour's worth of words to reconnect with something that makes you feel like yourself. Something that restores the value which you place on your being.

Thank You for allowing me to have that conversation. I know it wasn't easy for you.

I'm always here.

Love you.


x


Dear You,


Here's to that new found facet in our 'connection'. I like the ease that comes with it all. The lack of guilt. Embarrassment.

Most of all I like the simplicity.

See you soon.


x


Dear You,


Pretty sure you don't like this subject...but let's do a little mathematics.


You + Me = Chemistry.


You + Me = A strangely harmonious cacophony.


You = Inspiration. Laughter


My Life - You = Humdrum.


You > all your enemies


As cliche as it sounds... Don't ever let them get to you.


x


Dear You,


I'm sorry for all the things I've done.

Sorry for making you cry.

And keeping you up at night.

And slamming doors.

And scowling every time I see your face.

I'll say I'll try to change. I say that I know.

This time it's for real.

Love,

Carla Marie

Feel

It starts with a sense of uneasiness.


Then pain.


It is brushed off.


It is the consequence of many trivial things.


You say.


It persists.


A shift.


Then another.


Before.


Realization.


The heartbeat quickens. A ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump that resonates through your chest.


Your ears.


Your wrists.


Your head.


All the way to the soles of your bare feet.


Annoyance.


Reason.


Acceptance.


Defeat.


The sense of uneasiness grows with the anticipation.

Damn

Listening to: My neighbor's garage band

Feeling: Satisfied yet uneasy


Let's hug?

Epiphany

I went to Mass today and found out that it was "Epiphany Sunday"...and it was.


Today I




... realized that in the past 3 days I had gotten
much better at avoiding it.



... was educated on the fact that people complain
about petrol costing $1+ per liter yet consider
paying $2.50 for a 600ml bottle of water the norm.



... saw the other side of the story



... saw a glimpse of a friendship that I'd gotten so close to losing, just because I refused to take
off my rose tinted glasses



... rediscovered the value of a silent room at dusk.

Flying high

Things that (this very moment) make me happy:



- Clothbound books (c/0 sister's boyfriend)


- Scrubs


- "That thing you Do" (movie and song)


- pretty dresses


- The Eagles





Things that (seem to always) bug me:

- moody people


- Isolation


- overwhelming silence. Silence is good. but sometimes it just paves the way for more thinking time than necessary...or healthy.


Listening to: (see post above)
Reading: the Memory Keeper's Daughter
Feeling: good
Craving: a few good hugs from a few good friends

Today we went a-marketing. Sort of. But not really. We went to Vinnies down the road to scrounge up some 'vintage' finds. It started off well but ended more roughly than anticipated. It ended in a mental letter to "you".

Despite that. I made a new friend.

The world has held great Heroes,
As history books have showed;
But never a name to go down to fame
Compared with that of Toad!

Toady sits beside my bed.
He reminds me of Harry Potter
(Chocolate Frogs).



He guards my daily 'uniform'.

The clever men at Oxford
Know all that there is to be knowed.
But they none of them know one half as much
As intelligent Mr. Toad!
~"Wind in the Willows"

Listening to: the vacuum cleaner
Reading: nothing
Feeling: bit blah

It's a little bit funny

Today was a day for relaxation. I discovered an indie/folk/semi-county Swedish duo called "First Aid Kit" and, as one does these days, decided to search for some videos on youtube. Though all were exceptional, one particular cover they did amused me in that "slightly sad but i guess that's how it is" kind of way.

The pair covered Buffy Sainte-Marie's "Universal Soldier". A protest song originally from 1964's. However, First Aid Kit changed the lyrics a bit to place the song in the context of today's society (the video was posted January 2009).




The original third verse:

And he's fighting for Canada,
He's fighting for France,
He's fighting for the USA,
And he's fighting for the Russians,
And he's fighting for Japan,
And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way.

First Aid Kit's third verse:

And he's fighting for Palestine,
He's fighting for Israel,
He's fighting for the USA,
And he's fighting for the Russians,
And he's fighting for Iraq,
And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way.

Note how, after 45 years, the USA and Russia are still fighting. Granted that they're not fighting each other anymore. It's a little bit funny...but then again not so much.

x

Cha

Listening to: Our Own Pretty Ways by First Aid Kit (and my neighbour practicing the drums)
Feeling: a little bit better and oddly sober (not in the un-sloshed kind of way)
Wanting to: know what it would be like to be a flower-child in the 60's.

Back in the rat race

From one routine to another.

The end of classes (and assesments) for the year brought many promising opportunities for exploring the more "la-dee-dah"-ish things that have been buzzing around in my brain for a while.

And then came work.

Despite the much welcome injection of cash into my pockets, work has stripped me of any form of 'life' altogether...for now at least.

Things to Do before summer ends:

- Christmas Shopping

- Paint Room

- Make Memo Board

- Draw/ Paint

- Read a good book

- Catch up with friends

- 'Designer-y' stuff

- Beach it

x
Cha

Listening to: Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes
Feeling: tired but relaxed... and a little bit blah
Loving: the new bed sheets
Needing: to check on the washing and cooking.