Chloe and Incense

I was half asleep when she said goodbye.

Under a drug induced haze.

Be safe. I said

I sat up. We hugged.

Be good. She said.

She was wearing the dress we bought the other week.

And she smelt of Chloe and incense.

Sleep came for me as soon as her dress fluttered out the the door.

Hours later i wake up. Regretting my shitty goodbye.

The smell of Chloe and incense still hanging in my room.

Gone to the Beach

Two week-ends ago I was fortunate enough to be able to wind down (properly) before the chaos of university started up again. The family (the dog included)and I took a trip down the coast. The perfect opportunity to get in some beach time and snap a few shots with my new camera. =]

Trix was excited...

Can you tell that I liked the tree?

Slept in here....

Swam here...

Lost track of time here...

Filipino breakfast *note the rice cooker.

Found a lottery ticket (might just use those numbers one day)

All in all, a lazy weekend. Perfect.

Listening to: My electric fan whirring away.
Needing to: Get stuck into university work
Loving: My new boots. and dresses. and shirt. and iced tea
Feeling: Good. and amused. and inspired. and confused. and in awe.

A little late..

But finally, here they are. Those images from the arrival as promised.

Listening to: Cold Desert by Kings of Leon
Feeling: Rested. and Excited. and slightly miffed.

Today I bought a picture book during my lunch break at work.

As I walked back into the shop, everyone asked what was in the bag. Naturally. So I showed them.

They looked at me weirdly.I looked back.

They asked me how much. I told them the price.

They looked at me incredulously. I shrugged.

The picture book I am talking about is "The Arrival" by Shaun Tan. Now it's no secret that I'm a massive Shaun Tan fan. His stories are always so absorbing. His illustrations emotive and so damned imaginative that, despite how cliche this sounds, they take you to another place altogether. I would give almost anything to be able to see the world through his eyes...or to be able to explore his mind. "The Arrival" is a particularly meaningful book for a few reasons.


Firstly, I guess it's because I was a migrant too and, despite the vast differences between my experiences and that of the protagonist, I could empathize with him. In leaving one home for another there is always a sense of loss. Coupled with hope and a thinly veiled feeling of dread. All of which are bundled messily in a wad of excitement. This book, despite it's lack of words (or perhaps due to it) is able to convey all of this.

Secondly, "The Arrival" (amongst a few others) served as a source of inspiration for the duration of my final year of high school. I don't think I could have been pushed to finish my Art and English major works had I been unaware of this book. Graphically, it is pure genius. Pretty and soft yet fittingly dramatic and alien. In terms of narrative, it has the things that all successful stories contain: A character who is real, a place which is removed from its readers' immediate realities and subplots which are intriguing in their own rights.

I bought a picture book today.

It cost me $43. I don't regret it one bit.

*photos of my some of favorite pages from "The Arrival" to come later.

x

Reading: Vanity Fair (again)
Listening to: Vincent by Don McLean.

'the gift of song'

To You

Dear you,


It's truly amazing how one conversation could change your mood.

An hour's worth of words to reconnect with something that makes you feel like yourself. Something that restores the value which you place on your being.

Thank You for allowing me to have that conversation. I know it wasn't easy for you.

I'm always here.

Love you.


x


Dear You,


Here's to that new found facet in our 'connection'. I like the ease that comes with it all. The lack of guilt. Embarrassment.

Most of all I like the simplicity.

See you soon.


x


Dear You,


Pretty sure you don't like this subject...but let's do a little mathematics.


You + Me = Chemistry.


You + Me = A strangely harmonious cacophony.


You = Inspiration. Laughter


My Life - You = Humdrum.


You > all your enemies


As cliche as it sounds... Don't ever let them get to you.


x


Dear You,


I'm sorry for all the things I've done.

Sorry for making you cry.

And keeping you up at night.

And slamming doors.

And scowling every time I see your face.

I'll say I'll try to change. I say that I know.

This time it's for real.

Love,

Carla Marie

Feel

It starts with a sense of uneasiness.


Then pain.


It is brushed off.


It is the consequence of many trivial things.


You say.


It persists.


A shift.


Then another.


Before.


Realization.


The heartbeat quickens. A ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump that resonates through your chest.


Your ears.


Your wrists.


Your head.


All the way to the soles of your bare feet.


Annoyance.


Reason.


Acceptance.


Defeat.


The sense of uneasiness grows with the anticipation.

Damn

Listening to: My neighbor's garage band

Feeling: Satisfied yet uneasy


Let's hug?